Friday, September 16, 2011

Advice from Geithner!!

I just heard that Tim Geithner is on his way to Europe to tell them how to fix their financial problems!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Excuse me while I laugh. Long, long, LONG pause here!!!

I would have to say that any financial advice that the US gives to Europe or ANYONE should be soundly IGNORED!!! In fact if ANY US banker gave ANY advice, my advice would be to do the opposite.

Because obviously we are in no position to advise anyone - unless it is someone who is looking to commit financial suicide.

We don't have the slightest idea of how to manage anything, not banking, exporting, importing, our air or water pollution, or virtually anything to do with running or operating a country, as we have proved by ruining our own country. So my advice is if you want advice, go elsewhere.

(For political people, my comments apply equally to Democrats and Republicans - no maybe more to Republicans, it was them more than the Democrats responsible for the raping of the American Financial System, which caused our present finacial collapse.)

3.30 am.

It was 3.30 am when a loud BEEP, BEEP, BEEPING erupted from the tiny travel alarm clock on Julia's side of the bed. It continued for a full minute before Julia, a strong candidate for the Gold Medal in the "Olympic Sleeping" event, groans and says, "Wa's tha'"? I reply, "It's your alarm." The beeping continues. I say, "It's going off." She struggles to sit up and pick up the offending object - a small Ikea clock. After unsuccessfully trying to turn it off, she hands it to me, says, "Turn it off." and heads for the bathroom.

I, equally unsuccessfully, attempt to turn it off. It has only three controls, one to set the time, one to set the alarm and one to turn the alarm on and off. I flip the alarm switch, nothing. I turn it on and off several times, no joy. So I open the bedroom door, go out onto the deck and throw the clock as far out into The Lake as I can.

Not really, just kidding.

OK removing the clock's battery would seem to be the smart answer, not stomping on it, or throwing it, or even putting it under the mattress, which were some of my first thoughts. I opened up the battery compartment and there was the little AA battery neatly nestled in it's own little space. Firmly in it's space, it turned out I should have said, it would not come out. I paused, how long could it continue to BEEP? I quickly decided too long and picked up a pencil to pry it out of it's cozy home. First the pencil's point broke, then the wood. Something stronger was needed, I found a handy dandy pair of nail scissors and did a successful batteryotomy that any surgeon would have been proud of at 3.30 in the morning, while still half asleep.

Silence reigned.

By now I was fully awake. As I lay there I wondered what would happen if I replaced the battery, would it start to BEEP again, or would it reset itself and start working properly? I tried to put the battery back, it was fairly dark and I could not see which way the battery should go in. It did not want to go in either way, had it expanded since I took it out a few minutes ago. or had the space shrunk? It is strange the way the mind works in the dark in the middle of the night. The battery WOULD go in I decided, it really didn't matter which way, if nothing happened one way I'd try the other. I pushed and in it went, there was an odd sort of moaning sound, but no BEEP. I looked at the face, nothing moved. I pried the battery out and replaced it the other way. Silence. The clock was dead.

Time to go to Ikea and spend another $2.99 or whatever.

Back to sleep.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

On using up my remaining time!

I went into the Post Office today to mail a small package. There were two people working the desk and two people in line ahead of me. So, wait 25 minutes, go to desk, lady looks at my package and points out that there is no zip code. I stare at her. She tells me that I can go to the machine in the lobby and get the zip code. I go out there. A man is using the machine. Apparently he has never used it before. He learns how to use it. And how to use it again, and again, and how to pay with a credit card. My turn. I find the zip code. I have no pen! I memorize it and go back into PO. Go up to the counter and borrow a pen to write the zip on my packakge. Back into line. Twenty minutes later I am called, but a "Lady" rushes in and goes straight to the counter with a "Quick question".The counter lady takes care of her. Finally I am there. My zip is written on a piece of scotch tape I am told/scolded, and might rub off. She writes it onto a piece of paper and sticks it into place.


Remove one hour from my "Alloted time."

Monday, September 12, 2011


In 1962 I was 21 years old. I'd had a few girlfriends, but was not real comfortable talking to girls. I was awkward. Shy? Embarrassed? Then in June of 1962 I met Julia. All of a sudden I was cool and confident, smart, intelligent, interesting! I'm not sure how long it was before I realized that it wasn't me that changed and became SuperDave, it was Julia. I'm still not sure if I changed because I HAD to, to win this awesome girl, or because she somehow magically changed me with her magic. Or was there some chemical magic?

Who knows? Anyway there is no doubt that I changed, and my life changed, for the better.

As I like to say to people when I, occasionally, get something right - "That is the second time in my life that I got something right. The first time was when I asked Julia to marry me, and the second time was this."

Long may we live, and long may I continue to fool Julia into thinking me SuperDave.